Purophet (purophet) wrote in cowboybebopmush,

Session #??: Burger Bop Part II

Yugo quirks an eyebrow and shrugs, "Whatever." Like he needed an explination? He just didn't want to die. He stared at the ships coming down and rolled his eyes, putting two and two together, "No wonder. You're a bounty head. I'll let ya slide this time and let them handle ya." He snorts and crosses his arms into the pocket of his hoodie, pulling the hood up and tightening it, tying it off.
"Minyae! That guy is a.. bad man. He'll be hurting other people.. yeah." Leo says, frowning down at her. Mumblemumblemuble. "Come on now, please? I'll give you a kiss?"
Minyae says, "A kiss? And what kind of incentive is that?"
"Ouch." Leo mutters, going to take a seat on the floor, grumbling quietly to himself. "If you're going to be a jerk about it, we can just go home."
Spike flies lower, and lower, circling over Yugo and Roberts. He switches to his exterior loudspekaers, demanding, "Hold it right there!" -- quite unaware of what's transpiring beneath, or of Roberts' words to Rawney and Yugo.
Minyae rolls her eyes, "You don't have to be a child about it Leo. When you said bounty head I thought you meant some bloodthirsty killer that might be actually hurting people. But so far all this guy has done is a poor job of making a daring escape. And in addition he's helping that man down there...and even looks like he's giving up. What do you expect me to think?"
"I'll be as much as a child as I want to be." And with that Leo gives Minyae the sticking out of the tongue. Leo then goes to fold his arms and remains silent for a moment. "Maybe he does a lot of things we don't know about?"
Roberts mutters sidelong to Yugo, "I thought that's what I was doing." He then clears his throat and composes himself once again, taking on the aggressive persona, swinging his fist in the air towards nothing in an expression of resentment. "I had 'em! I had them all, but you cowboys always have to show up and ruin it!" He points a finger at the Swordfish, apparently seizing upon Spike as his antagonist. "Well, you'll see! One day I'll do this right, and then I'll have all I want! I'll live like a king!"
Minyae turns slightly in her seat to glance sidelong at Leo, "Yeah? And I'm sure you do things that I don't know about as well. Or rather, you do things that you know I might not approve of, but you do them anyway neh?"
Leo has reconnected.
Leo has partially disconnected.
Yugo pulls his hands out of his pockets and his head out of his hood, glancing at Roberts and sighing, "Y'know, I wanted to take a nap, but no! You gotta go and start blowing your stack at that guy. If you're so pissed at him, open fire! Or something. Jeeze." He glances at the outstretched hands of Roberts and shakes his head, contemplating how many different ways he could knock out Roberts and take him in for the bounty...
"Not things that would put me in jail!" Well.. Heh. "Why are you turning this into an attack on me?" Leo asks with a frown. Leaning back some, supporting himself by putting his hands behind him on the ground.
Roberts reaches out and hits Yugo, hissing hushedly to him. "I told you to shut up! Play along, here; there are cameras on the ship!" As quickly as possible, he returns to the stance of anger at Spike.
Rawney sighs aboard the Memphis Belle. He starts going over the damages. The Jolly Roger rammed the bottom of his cargo bay and dented it inward, and the result was his cargo -- fresh fruit from Callisto -- was likely ruined. This wouldn't be unbearable, but he had no doubt fixing this hunk of junk of a ship would drain all of the compensation money. As such, Rawney glares at the ship's controls accusingly. "Y'know, you're like an ingrateful bitch of a wife. You take all of my money and don't give me shit in return."
Yugo twitches an eyebrow. The hit felt like a bee-sting to him, from all that time he took conditioning. Lucky for Roberts that he took anger conditioning as well, or he'd be at the business end of his katana right about now. "Watch yourself..." He muttered, reflecting some light off an inch or two of his katana and into one of Roberts' eyes, "Be careful who you raise a hand to..."
Minyae says, "Simple, you're trying to encourage me into taking action against a man who is obviously nowhere near dangerous enough to warrant me, a medical officer of all things, to act against him..."
Spike, as he's in his fighter, is probably not a smart person to shoot at. Swooping lower and lower, it appears that he has an audio pickup set to monitor the area. "Yeah, yeah," he responds to Roberts. "Live like a king in jail. Now keep your hands up where I can see them."
Roberts groans at Yugo, and hisses again, "Just don't ruin this for me, will you? And watch your language. The cameras are rolling." He composes himself again, and raises his hands as he addresses the Swordfish. "Stupid cowboys! I'll do it someday! I was so close!"
Leo sighs at Minyae before shrugging. "Alright.. Time to go home then?" Leo asks, tilting his head up some. The cowboy hat falls off and hits the ground. Leo licks his lips, listening.
Rawney has since taken to watching the proceedings, watching a little irritably all the same. He snorts a bit, watching the proceedings with some curiosity. Why are the cowboys taking so long in bagging him? "They better get him soon."

And then, he notices the heat gauge rising up to critical. "Huh," he murmurs. "Better get right to fixin' that up," he mumbles in his thick Texan drawl.

Rawney taps it twice, until it goes back down. "Much better."
Minyae nods, "Yeah, let's get out of here, there's plenty of cowboys here to take care of him. Sorry Leo, I'm just not bounty hunter material you know?" And with that the Reverie begins to pull away slowly.
"Wha~tever," Spike broadcasts over the loudspeakers, throwing a yawn in for good measure. "Only thing that does good by being close is a grenade." He continues to circle, wondering just how he's supposed to arrest this guy -- the Swordfish only holds one. Ah, well. Time to radio for the ISSP.
Or... not.
Leo has disconnected.
Strap him to the hull, maybe? Roberts continues to stand with both arms raised, briefly sparing a longing look back at the cockpit, where all of his stolen cargo still sits.
In fact, that was precisely Spike's backup plan. The bounty hunter skims over the waves, before touching down not far from Roberts' ship. Soon, he emerges from the cockpit, standing precariously on his craft as he levels his Jericho 941 at the bounty head. "Hands up, and get over here."
Roberts continues to stand with his hands in the air, but he looks over at the Swordfish briefly before looking back at the boxes of cargo. "...can I just take one? Just look at them for a moment?"
Yugo rolls his eyes and snorts, wondering why bounty hunters did that. If Roberts had the brains of a three year old he would know that no hunter in their right mind would kill someone that had money on their head. Well, unless someone wanted Roberts dead...and that probably wasn't the case. The guy hit like a little girl, how bad could he be? Either way, Yugo just sat.
"If it's a grenade or a gun," Spike warns, "I can plug you before you try to get me." That said, he declines anyway. "-- but I'm not gonna take the chance. Shut up and get over here." The last sentence is snapped.
Faye has disconnected.
Rawney frowns a bit, as he watches. He then decides to send out a quick communication, which echoes out over the area around Spike and Roberts thanks to the radios of the respective crafts. "Hey!" he says. "I need that guy to make sure I get my compensation! Y'all better not screw that up, or I'll really be in the hole!"
Well, here goes. Swallow that pride. Roberts frowns and begins to step towards the Swordfish, before looking back at the cargo. "Nnnn... oh, I've got to have just one!" And he rushes back into the cockpit, pulling off the lid of one of the boxes, and pulling out... a hamburger? As he pulls off the wrapper and takes a bite, it becomes clear: this man stole a million woolong worth of Archie's burgers. At the sound of Rawney, he chews rapidly before scowling, and speaking hushedly again to Spike. "Tell that idiot to shut up! The cameras are rolling! Archie's won't pay extra if their footage is ruined - and that goes for you too!"
Yugo glances back at Roberts, blinks, and then just stares. Standing up, he stands at the end of the cockpit and ponders on just dropping to the waiting waters...
"What in the sam hill..." Rawney says, with his finger still on the communications button. He stares blankly at the spectacle, from his vantage point on the bridge of the Memphis Belle. He cannot quite put the entire thing together, unfortunately, as he cannot hear what is said outside.
"... you stole ONE MILLION WOOLONG OF HAMBURGERS?!" Spike demands, one hand rising to slap his forehead. "As a publicity..." Speechless, the cowboy's gun hand lowers, his other hand automatically moving over to resafe the weapon as he /stares/ at Roberts. The mention of extra pay snaps him out of his funk... but only slightly; still looking dumbfounded, he turns around, shuffles back into Swordfish's cockpit, and radios Rawney. "He's filming an ad," comes his voice, part sour and part still stunned. "And he wants you -- wants us all -- to shut up and play along."
"Hamburgers?!" Rawney answers, at first entirely incredulous. And then, his tone softens a bit. The man gets a wide grin on his lips. "Hey, a hamburger sounds really good right about now!" His voice also manages to carry, from the two cockpits, into the general area. "I want one! Can one of y'all get me a hamburger?"
Yugo walks over to the boxes of hamburgers, unwraps one, and takes a bite out of it. He picks another one up and unwraps it, then whips it at Rawney's ship, "These are pretty good, I guess."
"Archibald Roberts" nods, hissing venomously. "That's right! I could get a lot of money if this commercial hits off, and so could you, so don't ruin this for me! Swallow your pride and eat the goddamn hamburgers!" He clears his throat again, and immediately calms down. "Well, I guess there are plenty. Land and have one!" He takes another bite of the hamburger. "Mm-mm! Succulent grade A beef with Archie's fine iceburg lettuce on a sesame seed bun!" He picks up his drink from the cupholder, and mugs it to a hidden camera. "And for a limited time, get a free large drink if you megasize it!"
The Memphis Belle gently sets down near the docked ships, and after a moment, a hatch on its side opens. A young man in a blue, NASA-issue jacket and jeans leaps out and carefully lands on the assembled vessels. "All right, all right!" he says. "Now, lemme see here." He reaches in, grabbing a hamburger, and unwraps it curiously.
Yugo sits moodily in the seat of the cockpit and continues eating his hamburger, muttering about how he better get paid or someone's going to go through life missing an arm. Tossing his hamburger into the air, he quickly whips his katana out in an iaido strike, and sheathes it before the two halves of hamburger land, still together as a sandwich.
"There's plenty for everybody at Archie's!" The Archie Robber actor takes another bite. "Jail won't be so bad with Archie's hamburgers!" When Yugo does the trick with the katana, he hesitates only slightly before demonstrating the quick thinking of a practiced commercial actor, head swinging to watch the trick before moving back to the camera with a look of patently fake astonishment.
Yugo remembers that he was probably on camera, his face flaring up in anger and embarassment both. "Uh...who wants theirs cut...?" He blinked a few times and tilted his head, then went back to moodily stuffing part of the burger into his mouth. Now it was starting to taste like shit.
"Hot damn!" Rawney comments, as the man pulls off the surprising trick with his katana. "That's some crazy stuff, right there. I've never seen anything quite like that shit!" the spacer says. He then takes a healthy bite out of his hamburger, and nods. "Hey! This is a pretty damned good burger! It's worth stealing!"
The actor answers Yugo with false enthusiasm. "Over here!" And he tosses a burger at the chagrinned cowboy. He takes the opportunity of his camera moving to Yugo to hiss to Rawney, "Language! This is a commercial. Good line, though. They'll splice out the swear in editing anyway."
Yugo while the burger was in the air, Yugo sighs and swipes out his blade, the strike causing the burger to hit the floor in two neat pieces. Talking between his gritted, but fakely grinning teeth, he adressed 'Roberts', "You're buyin' me a new katana, buddy."
"Er, yeah," Rawney mutters. He looks down at his hamburger, and then shrugs after a moment. He takes a hefty bite of it and nods, once. "Yeah, that sounds good! So, am I gonna get a lot of money for this?" the spacer asks. He then coughs. "And, uh, mm, mm! I like this hamburger so much it hurts!"
"Okay, I think we got enough footage for the commercial. We're not shooting an infomercial here." 'Archibald' wipes the fake smile from his face and spits the rest of his mouthful of burger into the wrapper. "Damn things taste like rubber. And you'll have to talk to the company, but they'll definitely give you something, to avoid risking a lawsuit if they use your footage anyway. You had a good line," and he points at Yugo, "and you did the sword trick. They can't pass that up. I'm the Robber, so I get a paycheck already agreed upon," and at Spike, "and he technically rounded me up, so they're obligated to pay him the bounty. Everybody gets paid."
Yugo grumbles and looks for something to chop up, then tosses a handfull of the burgers into the air and chops them into pieces, where they promptly land in the water below, "Feeding the fishes. Might's well work the sword over since it's already ruined, what with all the grease and whatever in the 'food'..."
"Taste like rubber?" Rawney says. He finishes his hamburger off, and without a second thought, grabs his next burger to start in on. "You're crazy! These things are the best!" He then puts the hamburger down for a moment, to nod his head once. "Yeah, as long as I get paid. Not that it'll /really/ help. It's all goin' back to that hooker of a ship I have the distinct displeasure of ownin'."
Spike, as the cockpit of the Swordfish is still open, was able to hear all of this, despite having his head in his hands. At last, he sticks his head out to address the others, a somewhat plaintive look on his face. "... well, at least I'm gettin' paid, 'Mr. Hamburger Robber'. Even if those burgers taste like shit, I'm hungry, so just toss me a few, mmkay?" With that, he settles back into his seat, moping while he waits for his burgers.
Yugo grabs a burger and whips it into the cockpit of the Swordfish, unwrapping it first, where it promptly splats into Spike's face, "There's yer damn burger. Don't act like you just had to preform in front of a camera! Because /I/ did! Goddamned bastard..." Grumble, grumble.
"You like 'em so much, you eat the rest. We got a whole box of 'em; they'll just spoil anyway." The Archie Robber gestures to the open crate. "The rest are just full of packing peanuts." He grabs a burger and begins to move to toss it to Spike, before he sees Yugo beat him to it a bit more maliciously. "Sorry about your ship. Didn't see it there, but it's in the contract. Archie's has to pay to repair any damages accidentally inflicted by the Archie Robber." He then shrugs to Yugo. "You think I like this? I want to get into serious acting, but I gotta pay the bills so I get shit work like this. I'm just glad I'm not Hemorrhoid Sufferer #1 on some infomercial."
Yugo twitches, throwing his hands up, "Oh, no! It's such a horrible fate, to have to perform for no reason in front of an audience! It's not like YOU had to demonstrate a highly respected technique like it was a joke! If sensei saw me throwing years of practice around like it was a frick'n parlor chick, he'd go ballistic!"
"It's taken a lot of beatings before," Rawney says with a shrug to the Archie Robber. He reaches into the box and grabs a few more hamburgers, stuffing them inside of his coat. This would be dinner tonight, breakfast tomorrow, and moldy dinner in two weeks when he found the rest in the back of his refridgerator. "It's a piece of shit." To demonstrate, the Memphis Belle's engine sputters violently again. Rawney thusly glares at it. "Yeah, yeah, you piece of shit. I hear you. Stop your damned whining!"
The actor shrugs. "You think you're the first to use a respected, skilled trick to shill burgers or something? At least you didn't mean to. Everybody makes mistakes, some just get televised." He looks up at the Memphis Belle, and whistles. "How'd you make that behemoth, duct-tape some mufflers together?"
Yugo gets up and sits in his spot, folding up his sweater and using it for a pillow, "You're takin' me to this Archie Burger place so I can get my money. Wake me when we get there."
"I'll tell you how I got it," the spacer from Agamemnon replies. He snorts and studies the massive form of the Memphis Belle, towering overhead. He pays a brief glance to Yugo, and then shrugs his shoulders. "I tried to get me a new good deal. But you wanna know something about the Carribean Cluster? They screwed me over nice and good."
Spike being Spike, the man who beats up street gangs by himself, tackles Bloody Eye fiends, and swallows cigarettes, promptly catches the hamburger that's flung at him and takes a big bite out of it. "Not bad," he says, through a full mouth, before occupying himself devouring the rest of the burger. Once done, he hops up again and, without asking, hops onto the other ship and makes a beeline for the crates of burgers.
The Archie Robber makes no move to stop Spike, looking like he never wants to see another hamburger in his life. To Rawney, he nods. "I'll say. How the hell did they unload that hunk of junk on you?"
"It's a mean-spirited, life-suckin' bitch, from which there is no escape," Rawney explains in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. He nods once to the Memphis Belle, taking another hearty bite of the burger. "It was cleaned up all nice and good, and when I gave it a test-run, it ran like a dream. A week later? It was drippin' some freaky blue goo from the control panel. I still dunno what it is. I just hafta mop it up every so often."
Spike, like Rawney, helps himself to several burgers; stuffing several into his pockets, he somehow manages to jam half of another burger into his mouth -- and almost chokes at Rawney's words. With difficulty, he chews and swallows, before finally saying, "Man, you got totally screwed over."
Yugo sits up and throws a threatening glare back at the group of men gathered in the small ship, "Why don't you all take it somewhere ELSE and chat it up, or shut up so I can get some SLEEP, dammit!"
Yugo leaves for Jupiter Area.
Yugo has left.
The Archie Robber looks over at Yugo. "What, you want us to /swim/ out there and talk?" He gawks at Rawney's description, nodding to Spike's comment. "I don't even think they /have/ any blue goo in the workings of a starship. Anywhere."
"It's less of a spaceship and more of a burden," Rawney replies with a sigh. He glares at his ship, which remains looming overhead the group of men. He glances once at Yugo and shrugs his shoulders, before looking back at the freighter. "It's a woolong blackhole. I put money into it, and nothin' comes out."
Spike, in response to Yugo, gives him his most obnoxious grin, then ignores him in favour of chowing down on the remaining half of the burger. Once he's able to speak, he demurs to the robber, "I dunno; once, I found some black goo in one of the storage areas. Damned if I know where it came from." A pause, a more sedate bite of burger, and he continues. "I have a hard time imaginin' a ship falling apart more than the Bebop... but you may have just done the trick."
The Archie Robber leans forward. "See, I don't deal with ships so much. Mostly I stick to Ganymede. If I ever need to fly off-planet I take a starliner." He nods. "Why don't you just sell it - or junk it - and find a job you don't need it for, if it eats up more money than it makes?"
"I tried to sell it. You know what the best deal I got offered was?" Rawney narrows his eyes, and dispenses of the used wrapper into the crate from which the hamburgers came. "About twenty thousand woolongs. I can't do nothin' with that. I'd need some capital to change jobs, or get a place to live. So I'm saddled with that piece of garbage."
Minyae has disconnected.
"Twenty /thousand/ woolongs for a ship?" Spike whistles. "Shit, that's bad. You should do something original, like, oh, I dunno... make it a tourist attraction or something. 'Coming up are the notorious blue goo deposits', or something like that."
The actor snickers, folding his arms. "Though I bet somebody'd ingest the goo and sue you for getting bubonic plague or something."
"Yeah. Any plan to make money that involves that worthless pile of bolts is bound for failure," Rawney says to Spike. He shakes his fist in the direction of the Belle. "I'd almost say that piece of crap wants me to fail, y'all know."
Spike looses a matching snicker, before flashing a smirk. "Hey, 'Archibald'," he says to the actor. "Do you want stock footage of explosions for the ad? If so, well, I can always use that ship--" He hooks a thumb at Rawney's vessel. "-- for target practice, if y'want..."
"Archibald Roberts" laughs, nodding. "Maybe that's the problem! You're trying to sell it to people who'd fly it. You'll never get anything that way. Sell it to somebody who's looking for ships that won't be a waste to blow up, or something. Somebody who wants to melt it down for scrap, maybe. Supply and demand."
"That's what I did." Rawney looks down and sighs. "That's the scrap price. Apparently, the metal is made on the cheap and has a high likelihood of total corrosion or collapse if recast."
The Archie Robber gawks. "So what about selling it to a movie studio that needs something to blow up? What, will it release poison gas?"
"Oh, man," Spike remarks. "That thing looks like more and more like the piece of shit it is by the minute. How the hell is that even spaceworthy, even barely? -- And I like this guy's idea."
"Well, I did ask about that once. Hell, I asked the army if it'd be good for target practice," the spacer says. He puts his hands inside his pockets and shakes his head. Rawney looks down at his feet, and sighs wistfully, as though he is entertaining the possibility of an impossible dream. "I'd love to get rid of it. But you know what the army said? It wouldn't even blow up very good. The metal is also likely to fragment into very dangerous, extremely sharp shards of shrapnel. And the fuel system won't go up too good. Apparently, the fuel line..." He laughs nervously. "Sometimes it works, and sometimes... not so much?"
The Archie Robber doesn't seem to listen to Rawney this time, lost in thought. Finally, he claps his hands and points at Rawney for emphasis. "I've got it. Sell it to Cherious Medical on Mars. They can do chemical analysis of the blue goo, maybe come up with some new medicine. Or some new virus."
Spike chuckles at that. "All the military need do is move further away before they fire at it. Unless their ranges have limited space, or are built like houses of cards." Finishing off the burger in his hand, he continues, "/I/ can blow it up, if you take it some place quiet." A pause, before he claps at the Archie Robber's suggestion. "He's got it."
"You know..." Rawney gets a grin on his face. "That's a good idea." With that, he moves towards the Memphis Belle. When he leaps inside, however, the ship is hit by a sudden wave -- and the owner hits the water, briefly becoming submerged. Rawney swims to the surface, his hamburgers stowed away now ruined, and climbs onto the ship. "Yeah, yeah, I hear you! I'll be rid of you soon, you fuckin' harpy!" he shouts at it. He then turns around, and nods to Spike and the Archie Robber. "Nice to meet you folks. Y'all take care, now!"

With a wave of his hand, he steps inside. The hatch seals shut, a moment later, and then the engines begin to power up -- after hacking and sputtering in protest.
Rawney leaves for Jupiter Area.
Rawney has left.
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